Girl: Hallo!^_^ I’m V-chan! and welcome to the Anything Goes Fairy Tale Theatre, I’ll be your narrator for tonight! Now, tonight we have a tale coming from Australia! And it’s about a mischievous… um… young….boy…*sweat drop*

Voice off stage: Raaaawr!

V-chan: *Glances off stage* Eh heh heh.. Anyways… Enjoy the play!^_^

(Curtain begins to fall.)

Another voice off stage: Wait! Wait! Hold everything!!

(Curtain stops halfway down and Arianna comes running out on stage.)

Arianna: One more thing ladies and gentlemen!

V-chan: But..this is my play…

Arianna: *Ignoring V* Please feel free at the end of the play to give a donation toward the Theatre!^_^; Please. You may give your donation to my manserv - Er, that is, Mike - at the end of the play. *Points to him standing at the back of the theatre by the doors* And thank you for coming!

V-chan: Are you leaving now?e.e

Arianna: Just remember whose theater your using.

V-chan: *Sigh* Yes Elly. Now are you leaving?

Arianna: I’m going! I’m going!

(Arianna exits stage left.)

V-chan: Alright! Now onto the play.

(V-chan walks off stage as the curtains fall and a few moments later they rise again to reveal the scenery of a wooded camp and a group of men walking onstage with buckets.)

Narrator(V-chan): Our story begins as the villagers return from getting water.

Villager1(Ryoga): (Carrying the tiniest of buckets) At last! We’re back!

Villager2(Ranma): (Dragging two huge buckets into camp) Finally. Now I can set this water down!

Villager3(Kuno): (Carrying no bucket) Ah, at last we have arrive at our abode.

Villager2: *Trying to set buckets down* Woah…woah*SPLASH*

Villager3: My love! *Glomps girl-type Ranma*

Villager2(Girl-type): Off! Off! Get off!

Narrator: Warm water!>_<

(Kettle of hot water gets thrown out from backstage at Ranma)

*SPLASH*

Villager2(Boy-type): *Steaming* ..Thanks..

Narrator: …Now.. Panda-

Panda(Played by Genma): Heeello.*Wave*

Narrator: …Panda wanted some water to drink.

Panda: Be a good son and let me have some water to drink.

Narrator: But they wouldn’t give him any.

Villager2: I don’t think so.

Narrator: Because he never worked and always thought he could do whatever he wanted.

Villager 2: Hey pops!

Narrator: AHEM!

Villager2: I mean, Panda.. Y’know we’re all working around here but you.

Villager3: I must agree with this feeble-minded swine. You have yet to be of sufficient use.

Villager2: I don’t see you doin’ nothin’ either!

Village3: I am far above slave-work Saotome, but you of course are not, fetch me a drink!

Villager2: You gotta be kiddin’ me!

Narrator: -SO EVEN AFTER BEING LECTURED HE STILL WOULDN’T DO ANY WORK.

Villager3: Wilt thou not do anything?

Panda: No.

Villager2: Well, we’re going to get some food.

Villager1: And we’ll be a while…

Villager2: And no one will be here, so don’t do anything.

Panda: What is there to do?

Villager2: We’re going.

(Ranma, Ryoga and Kuno walk offstage with they’re buckets)

Narrator: Well, after they had been gone a while Panda got thirsty again.

Panda: I could use a drink right about now..

Narrator: So off he went to look for some water, but the others weren’t as stupid as they looked.

Panda: Oh really?

Backstage voice(Ranma’s): I heard that!!

Narrator: They had hid the water in a very safe location.

Panda: Where did they put it..? It has to be here somewhere..

Narrator: It was a horrible, horrible place where they thought no one would ever look, ‘specially him!

(Genma accidentally stumbles into a room.)

Panda: My word! What kind of a monster is this person!

(Room happens to be Kuno’s, and it has pictures of girl-type taped to the ceiling and walls)

Narrator: A very sick one. But anyways, Panda discovered the water buckets hidden behind a pile of large poster-sized photos.

Panda: Ah! A very clever hiding spot indeed! That’s my boy! *Tears stream down his face*

Narrator: After he was finished drinking he thought to himself that maybe he should take the water with him.

Panda: Maybe I should take the water with me, they won’t miss it… And I’m a growing man! I need my water!

Narrator: Yeah..anyways. He took the buckets of water and decided since he couldn’t drink it all now he’d hide them.

Panda: I think..I’ll hide them..in a tree!

(Genma walks over to one of the taller trees around and barely manages to climb up it.)

Panda: Why in the world..*Gasp* Do they make these things.. *wheeze, cough* So tall!

Narrator: So he hides the buckets of water in the tree.

(Genma takes the three buckets and hides them up in to tree)

Panda: I suddenly seem to be tired from that long climb up here.. I think I’ll rest while my boy is off fetching water!

Narrator: So Panda sleeps in the tree. And while he’s asleep the rest of the villagers return.

Villager3: Here we our.

Villager2: Geeze, you guys are useless…

Villager3: You may lay the baskets down over there Saotome. *Points in some direction*

(Ranma growls and sets the baskets of fruit.)

Villager1: We’re…we’re back! Again!

Villager3: I am in need of something to quench my thirst.

Villager2: Yeah, I’m thirsty too. Let’s go and get that water we hid earlier.

Narrator: So they go to they’re hiding spot, but when they get there they find the water gone.

Villager1: It’s gone! All of it!

Villager2: I bet it was that Panda!

Villager1: It had to have been him!

Villager3: Hmm, I quiet agree. Let us find and destroy the foul creature!!

Villager1: Yeah!!

Narrator: So the three go off to find him.

Villager1: There he is! Let’s get him!

Panda: Zzzzz…..

Villager2: Your gonna get it pops!

Panda: Zzzzz…..

(Ryoga throws a rock at him, hitting him in the head.)

Panda: Mmfh! Who did that!

Villager1: I did, you drank all that water, how could you!

Panda: Well, it really wasn’t that hard..

Villager1: Grrr…I’ll get you!

(Ryoga starts climbing up the tree)

Villager3: Ha, you evil creature! I shall smite thee for the evil thou has done! FOR I AM TATEWAKI KUNO! Blue thunder of Furikan!

Narrator: That’s not in the script…!

(Kuno starts climbing up the tree also)

Panda: Wait! If you go away I’ll give you the hand of my daughter, the Pig-tailed girl!!

Villager1: You must take us for real idiots if you think we’d leave just for that.

Villager3: The red-haired goddess!!!? To be blessed by the companionship of one so bosomy and beautiful would be a gift indeed!

Villager1: I’m going to be sick..

Villager2: YOUR going to be sick?! POP YOU GET DOWN HERE NOW!

Villager3: Oh pig-tailed girl where are you?!

(Kuno leaves the tree and runs off stage in search of his Pig-tailed girl)

Villager1: While I’M not leaving!

Narrator: Now Panda got an idea of how to stop him.

Panda: I’ve got an idea of how to stop him!

Narrator: e.e;

(Genma pours water over Ryoga, changing him into a piglet)

Villager1(P-chan/Ryoga): BWWEEEEE!!*Squeals*

(P-chan falls out of tree and crawls away)

Villager2: Well, I’ll get’cha!

(Ranma begins to climb the tree)

Panda: Um..

(Genma throws water on Ranma, changing him into girl-type.)

Panda: It didn’t work.

Villager2(Girl-type): What’d you have to go and do that for!

(Ranma grabs Genma and pulls him out of the tree and they both fall.)

Villager2: I don’t feel so well.@_@

Panda: This is your fault..@_@

Narrator: So um.. one of the villagers manages to get Panda out of the tree, but Panda still doesn’t want to be caught so he runs away to another tree.

(Genma gets up and crawls over to another tree and tries to climb up it.)

Villager2: Now it’s your turn!

(Ranma throws water on Genma.)

*Splash*

Panda(Genma-panda): Raaawruuu..!

(Genma-panda starts attacking girl-type Ranma.)

Backstage voice: Oooh, pig-tailed girl!!

(Kunos jumps out and glomps Ranma.)

Ranma: Auuugh! Off off! Oooff!

Narrator: And they all lived happily ever after! THE END! CURTAINS!

(Ranma crawls off stage as the curtains are about to shut when Arianna comes running back out.)

Arianna: And don’t forget to donate!

V-chan: EllllLLLY!

(Curtains close.)